How to Know When a Client Is Ready for EMDR (and When You Are Too) with Katie Grant
We don’t talk enough about how hard it can be to trust EMDR.
Even after the trainings, the supervision hours, and the certifications, most trauma therapists I know still hear that nagging voice in the back of their head asking, “Am I doing this right?”
It’s not the kind of fear that stops you from practicing.
Rather, the kind that sits in your gut when you start the standard protocol and feel the weight of what it means to help someone touch their trauma. That uncertainty can be heavy, especially when the work feels unpredictable or when a client looks at you with that mix of hope and fear and asks, “Are we ready?”
That’s one of the many reasons I wanted to talk with Katie Grant, LCPC, LMHC — a queer, neurodivergent trauma therapist, survivor, and EMDRIA-Approved Consultant who has been doing this work for nearly two decades.
Our conversation wasn’t about mastering EMDR. It was about what it means to do it like a human.
When “Preparation” Isn’t Just a Phase
Katie shared a story about a client who came to her after EMDR therapy that had gone very wrong. The client would leave sessions with her previous therapist so dysregulated that she had to sit in the parking lot for hours before she could drive home.
Katie didn’t yet know EMDR at the time, but she knew trauma therapy. She knew that clients should never have to piece themselves back together in a car for hours before heading home. That moment sent her down the path of EMDR training and consultation, and ultimately shaped how she teaches it today.
What stuck with me most was how she talked about the preparation phase. It’s easy to see it as a hurdle — the thing we get through so we can finally “do the real EMDR work.” But in truth, the preparation is the work.
And the pressure to move quickly doesn’t come from poor training, it often comes from inside us -
From the stories we tell ourselves about being a good enough therapist.
From the client sitting in front of us, desperate for relief.
From the exhaustion that makes us hope something will finally work fast.
Katie names that pressure honestly in our conversation. Sharing how she leans toward longer preparation, not out of rigidity, but because she’s seen what happens when we skip the slow work of safety and readiness.
She said it’s not about checking boxes but about building the trust that lets clients actually heal once reprocessing begins.
The Consultation We All Need
Talking with Katie reminded me how much consultation mirrors therapy itself. It’s supposed to be a space for curiosity, connection, and regulation but it often becomes another place where we perform.
How many times have you walked into consultation bracing yourself to prove you’re competent? To show that you know what you’re doing?
Katie gets that. She builds consultation spaces where imperfection is not only welcome but expected.
Her goal isn’t to correct — it’s to co-regulate.
To help therapists remember that EMDR isn’t magic; it’s relationship-driven, client-led, and deeply human.
Her favorite thing to tell consultees is, “I trust your brain.” She means it for clients, but it applies just as much to us.
Trust your brain. Trust your instincts. Trust that even when you don’t feel ready, you are capable of staying present, and that’s enough.
Doing EMDR Like a Human
Katie’s approach is refreshingly real. She’s a Certified EMDR Therapist and Consultant through EMDRIA and the Creative Mindfulness Network, and she works primarily with queer, neurodivergent, and trauma-survivor communities.
She knows what it’s like to sit on both sides of the therapy room — to understand that readiness is not linear, that safety can take years to build, and that no amount of technique can replace genuine attunement.
In our conversation, we found ourselves circling back to the same truth again and again: EMDR done well isn’t about perfect fidelity, it’s about presence.
As trauma therapists, we are trained to hold space for our clients’ stories, but we rarely give ourselves permission to be human in that process. Yet our humanity, including all our mistakes, laughter, pauses, and tears, is often what helps clients feel safe enough to keep going.
Reflection: Slowing Down the Rush to “Ready”
We all feel the “rush to ready”, no matter our approach or training in this work. So whether you’re an EMDR therapist or not, allow this to be a moment where you take a breath before you move on to your next session.
Really. Just one.
And then maybe ask yourself:
When was the last time I trusted the process instead of forcing it?
What parts of me rush to “get there,” and what are those parts afraid of?
How could I bring a little more of my human self into my consultation or supervision spaces?
Doing EMDR like a human means remembering that your readiness matters too. It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to not know. It’s okay to trust the work enough to go at the pace that feels right for both you and your client.
Because healing, I mean real healing, doesn’t come from speed. It comes from safety.
Gratitude and Next Steps
Before we wrap up, I want to take a moment to thank Katie Grant for sharing her time, her expertise, and her heart with all of us. Conversations like this remind me why community matters so deeply in this work, not just for our clients, but for us.
If you want to learn more about Katie, her EMDR consultation groups, or her therapy practice, you can find her here:
🌐 Consultation, Speaking, and Training:
https://justanotherfuckinggrowthopportunity.com or https://www.itsjafgo.com
📧 katiegrant@itsjafgo.com
🌐 Therapy:
https://katiegrantcounseling.com
📧 katiegrant@katiegrantcounseling.com
ANd if this conversation with Katie brought something up for you — the doubt, the pressure, or maybe the reminder that you’re human too — you don’t have to hold that alone.
Inside The BRAVE Trauma Therapist Collective, we keep having these kinds of conversations together: about EMDR, vicarious trauma, consultation, and what it really takes to stay grounded in this work.
It’s where trauma therapists (including Katie!) come to reconnect with what drew them to this field in the first place, and of course with each other too.
👉 Join us inside BRAVE: https://www.braveproviders.com/brave
Because you deserve the same kind of safety and support you work so hard to create for everyone else.
