You’re Not Broken, You’re Burned Out: How Trauma Therapists Can Stay Human in This Work

Please note: This blog was originally published on April 9, 2023 and includes updates and additional resources.

My Burnout Wake-Up Call

I was the only trauma psychologist at a Level 1 Trauma Center in New Orleans, working bedside with survivors of gun violence, car wrecks, you name it.

Completely alone.

At the same time, I had just started dating my now-husband. And right before his eyes, I changed. I was suddenly terrified all the time. Not of the relationship, but of everything else.

I couldn’t stop imagining him dying in a crash. I thought I’d get shot in the French Quarter. And that fear? It came with me everywhere — into patient rooms, into my home, into my body.

It wasn’t until he emailed me a Google search, “How to support my trauma therapist girlfriend” (he’s a jazz musician, by the way 🤣), that things started to shift.

After I got over being pissed that he called me out, of course.

Knowing that he saw me helped me realize I wasn’t broken. I was burned out. And I’d been holding it all alone.

You’re Not Broken, You’re Burned Out

Now, I know you’re probably not working at a Level 1 Trauma Center. 

But I bet you know what it’s like to feel numb in session, like you’re watching yourself from the outside, just going through the motions.

To second-guess every word that leaves your mouth.

To wonder why the work you’ve built your entire career around suddenly feels so far away… almost unreachable.

But please know this - that distance doesn’t mean you’re a bad therapist. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost your touch, and it sure as hell doesn’t mean you’re broken.

What it does mean is that your brain and body have been working overtime to keep you safe from the very real emotional load of trauma work.

Burnout, compassion fatigue, and vicarious trauma are not flaws in your character. They’re signs that your nervous system has been carrying too much, for too long, without enough space to recover.

And that’s exactly why I’m so deeply committed to helping trauma therapists reconnect with themselves, their clients, and their work — especially when disconnection starts to feel like the only way to survive the day.

The Survival Strategies We Lean On

If you’ve been in trauma therapy work long enough, you already know disconnection is one of our go-to survival strategies.

It’s not because we don’t care. It’s because our brains are desperate to keep us from feeling too much, too fast.

I’ve been there.

For me, disconnection looked like:

• Starting sessions a few minutes late to delay the dread of walking into the room.

• Clinging to the script so I wouldn’t have to feel too much.

• Telling myself I could “leave it at work” like I was a machine, not a human.

And honestly?
For a while, these strategies worked! They helped me survive trauma therapy work when the load felt unbearable.

But then… they didn’t.

And the moment you realize those coping strategies are failing you is terrifying. Because that’s also the moment you notice how cut off you’ve become — from your clients, from your relationships, maybe even from your own internal sense of safety.

And when that reality hits, it’s so easy to armor up even more.

The Reframe: What If You Took Off the Armor?

Here’s where I might lose you, but please stay with me.

What if the answer wasn’t to add more armor…
What if it was to take it off?

I know, I know, you’re probably thinking:
"But if I let go of that structure, that tight grip… how will I protect myself?"

I get it. That grip feels safe. But it’s not protecting you, is disconnecting you.

And every time you tighten that grip, you reinforce the belief that your work is dangerous… that you have to be in survival mode all the time.

But here’s what’s possible when you start softening instead of hardening:

• You stay present with yourself while staying present with your client.

• You notice your breath again.

• You let joy land in your nervous system without brushing it aside.

• You feel like you’re in the room, not floating above it.

Softening doesn’t mean falling apart in session. It means choosing connection over constant armor.

The Real Fear Behind Softening

Let’s be real — the scariest thing about softening is that it challenges your beliefs around what makes you a good therapist.

For me, my armor was built from the belief that being self-sufficient made me strong. That asking for help meant I wasn’t cut out for this work.

But here’s what I learned:
Holding it all together is not the same as being well.

Letting go of the armor doesn’t make you fragile.
It makes you human.

And being human, I mean fully human, is what will protect you in the long run.

How to Begin: Watch the Fire

So how do you actually start softening without feeling unsafe?

Inside BRAVE, we use a grounding visualization called Watch the Fire, adapted from the book Reducing Secondary Traumatic Stress by Brian Miller.
 

It’s for those moments after a session (or even during one, once you’ve practiced it enough) when you feel something stuck in your body.

Here’s how it works:
When you notice that internal reaction, imagine it as a fire.
Not one you have to put out.
Not something dangerous.
Just something you can stand beside and observe.

Ask yourself:

• What does it feel like in my body?

• What’s its texture, its heat, its movement?

Your only job is to watch it.

When you allow yourself to be present with it, without running from it, without trying to fix it. you give your nervous system permission to move all the way through the beginning, middle, and end of that empathic resonance.

That’s how you metabolize the emotional load…Instead of letting it smolder until it burns you out completely.

If you want a video version of this exercise, be sure to check out our accompanying video on YouTube.

Your Next Step Toward Burnout Recovery

Take a moment and check in with yourself right now.
Maybe your jaw feels softer.
Maybe your shoulders dropped.

That tiny shift? That’s reconnection.

Or maybe you feel the opposite — and that’s okay too.
It’s your body’s way of saying, “We’ve got some stuff to metabolize.”

And now you have a skill to start doing just that.

If you want to dip your toes into support, join me inside The BRAVE Trauma Therapist Collective — a community where you can stop holding it all together and start feeling supported, connected, and human again.

Or, if you’re looking for a self-paced first step, grab my Taming Vicarious Trauma Masterclass — it’s just $9, and it’ll help you understand how vicarious trauma shows up in your body, and how to work with it instead of around it.

You’re not broken.
You might be burned out.
And no matter what, you deserve support.