Preparing for Your Word of the Year (Without New Year’s Resolutions)

The Pressure to Wrap Up the Year “Correctly”

By the time the end of the year rolls around, a familiar pressure starts creeping in for us trauma therapists.

It sounds like:

• I should’ve done more.

• I should be further along.

• Why does it still feel like this after everything I gave?

And then we’re faced with all the end of year social posts about the amazing things everyone else did, and the pressure to pick our stupid new years resolution. Talk about a mental tally of what didn’t happen, what didn’t change, what you didn’t do well enough all capped up with a bullshit “promise” to yourself that you can’t possibly keep..

It turns into a mental tally of what didn’t happen, what didn’t change, what you didn’t do well enough, all capped off with a bullshit commitment to "do better" that you already know isn’t grounded in reality.

This is the part of the year where reflection quite quickly turns into self-judgment.

So before we pile anything else on top of that, I want to offer a different way to approach this moment.

Why I Choose a Word of the Year Instead of Resolutions

I’m openly anti–New Year’s resolutions.

Not because I’m anti-growth or anti-change but because resolutions tend to assume a version of life that doesn’t exist for anyone, let alone us trauma therapists. 

In what reality will you magically have more capacity, more energy, more margin, and fewer people needing things from you?!

I used to just do nothing and walk right into the next year and see what happens. But for the past several years, I’ve been choosing a Word of the Year.

Not as a goal or a rule. And definitely not as a way to fix myself.

A word gives me an orientation rather than a checklist and it’s something I can come back to when things feel heavy or messy and ask, How do I want to move through this? — not What should I be doing better right now?

The flexibility matters. Especially in work where unpredictability is the norm.

The Step Most People Want to Skip: Preparing Before You Choose

I’m certainly not the only one with this practice, it’s gotten very popular in recent years, and I’ve noticed that there’s a very strong pull to just pick a word and move on.

To decide quickly, feel productive about it, and check the box labeled end-of-year reflection, DONE!

But when preparation gets skipped, the word almost always comes from pressure, exhaustion, frustration, or that familiar sense of being behind.

That’s how a Word of the Year quietly turns into another expectation (dare I say a resolution?).

Preparation isn’t about overthinking though. Instead, it allows you to slow down enough to actually listen to your brain and body before you decide.

And that starts by looking back, without turning the year into a performance review of yourself as a therapist or as a human.

Looking Back Without Turning It Into a Performance Review

When you think back on the year that’s ending, notice how quickly your brain wants to label it as “good” or “bad.”

That instinct makes sense, and it’s not particularly useful.

Instead of evaluating the year, try noticing patterns. So as you reflect, consider:

• What themes kept showing up for me this year?

• Where did I feel consistently stretched or depleted?

• Where did I feel more steady than I expected, even briefly?

Some answers will show up as thoughts. Others will show up as sensations, images, you name it.

Just be with whatever is present. You can write things down or not. You don’t get a gold star either way.

This reflection isn’t about trying to change anything here. You’re just letting your system register what it’s already been holding.

And this matters because trauma therapists are exceptionally good at pushing past impact. 

Yes, I said that!

Slowing down is often the first time that impact gets acknowledged for us.

Turning Toward the Year Ahead Without Deciding Anything Yet

Once you’ve spent some time looking back, you can begin to turn toward the year ahead, no planning allowed!

This part isn’t about goals, it’s about curiosity and holding it for yourself as beautifully as you hold it for others every single day.

As you think about the coming year, ask yourself:

• What do I want more of?

• What feels depleted or under-supported right now?

• What do I want to feel more often in my body next year?

Notice what happens as you sit with those questions.

For some people, answers come quickly. For others, there’s just blank space.

Remember - Blank space isn’t a problem, especially if you’ve been operating in survival mode for a long time.

You Don’t Need a Word Yet and That’s the Point

It’s important to say this plainly:

You don’t need to land on a word today. In fact, I forbid you from choosing one yet!

You don’t need clarity or inspiration. You don’t need to feel “ready for a new year.”

Reflection is tough as it often lets us slow down just enough to notice all the grief, frustration, or uncertainty we push away every other minute of the day.

That’s your nervous system catching up to everything it’s already lived through.

Giving yourself time here is what prevents your Word of the Year from turning into another quiet way to judge yourself later.

What Comes Next (and Where BRAVE Fits)

In the next step of this process (next week), I’ll share how I actually choose my Word of the Year — how I narrow things down and how I hold the word lightly once it’s chosen.

Inside The BRAVE Trauma Therapist Collective, we do this together each year in a Word of the Year workshop. It’s a space to reflect in community rather than trying to figure everything out on your own.

And you’re invited!

We added a new free tier to BRAVE and this is a special workshop that all members get to attend so we can start 2026 off with ease and intention together.

So go to braveproviders.com/brave to join us, whether on the free tier or the paid one (it’s just $12 a month with so many benefits) and once you’re in our private community, head to the events section to RSVP for the Word of the Year workshop!

Ending the Year With Permission, Not Pressure

And as the blog post comes to a close, if there’s one thing I hope you carry from this, it’s permission.

Permission to slow down.

Permission to stop promising yourself things that assume unlimited capacity.

Permission to end the year without turning yourself into a problem that needs fixing.

That’s a much more honest place to begin.